Rossi's Reprisal
by PitaCake
Summary: A little after-the-show continuation of the season 8 episode, "The Wheels on the Bus." One-shot. Rated "T" because this ain't no little kiddie show.


**A/N: This is just a little oneshot that I had a dream about after falling asleep while watching season 8... Enjoy!**

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Kevin Lynch struggled to juggle his laptop case, briefcase, and grocery sacks as he tried to unlock the door. He swore when he tripped going in and was surprised he didn't drop anything. He kicked the door closed and set down the cases, then turned around and bolted and chained it. He carried the sacks over to the kitchen and determining that there was nothing in them that couldn't wait a few minutes to be put a away, left them on the table. He walked back over to the door and picked up the cases and walked into the living room. He jumped and dropped them as he saw a slight movement coming from the area of his couch. He flung out his arm to hit the wall switch.

"Don't bother with the lights, Kevin. I killed the power," a low, menacing voice growled from where he had seen the movement. He didn't need the yellow-orange glow from the street lamps- the only source of light in the otherwise pitch black apartment- to know who it was.

"Hey, Agent Rossi!" he greeted as it was perfectly normal for the profiler to break into his apartment and hide in the dark. He tried to play it cool but his heart was racing and he was internally freaking out. He bent down to move the briefcase out of the walkway and set it next to his laptop.

"I thought you'd appreciate the dark," Rossi said as he sat up. He picked up a glass with dark liquid in it from the coffee table in front of him. He took a drink and set it back down. "It's one of your tricks, isn't it, surprising someone by sneaking into their house and knocking off the lights? Probably not a wise thing to do to someone who makes a living by hacking the lives of serial killers and their victims. You do that kind of crap with a field agent and you could end up dying of lead poisoning. Understand?"

Kevin gulped. He understood Rossi's subtle threat perfectly. "Yes, sir. I understand," he croaked out. "What can I help you with, Agent?"

"I think we are overdue for another man to man talk, yes?" Rossi explained. He picked up the glass again.

Kevin felt his knees shake. He was afraid of this very thing ever since he broke up with Penelope. After some time had passed, he was hoping the agent had decided not to confront him. He even invited Gina with him to JJ's wedding, partly because he felt he needed a third-party barrier between him and the other agents.

"Do you remember the little chat we had a few years ago, involving a certain blonde technical analyst?" Rossi asked as he gently swirled the liquid in the glass.

"Uh, yes Agent Rossi, I do..."

 _2008_

 _"Agent Rossi...? We need to talk... uh... about Penelope," he stuttered as soon as the recently reinstated agent noticed his presence in his office. "Man to man?"_

 _"Man to man." Rossi repeated, almost reluctantly._

 _He walked to his office and allowed the geek in, closing the door behind them. He sat behind his desk and placed his bag down, out of the way. He saw the younger man had not moved from his spot by the door. "Sit down," he ordered. Kevin jumped slightly and nodding furiously, sat in one of the chairs. Rossi sat back and observed the man as he fidgeted under his profiler's stare. "So, you want to talk about Penelope," he stated slowly, testing out the waters._

 _Kevin nodded. "Yes, sir, I do. What you saw yesterday, it was..."_

 _"It was two consenting adults engaging in physical activities in the privacy of one of their homes," Rossi interrupted stoicly._

 _"Yes, it was. And..."_

 _"And what, exactly? Why would I care about that?"_

 _"Penelope... well, we were afraid... with the bureau's rules against fraternization..."_

 _"Lynch, do you have any idea how many FBI agents the country employs?"_

 _"The exact number? I don't know, I'd have to look it up..."_

 _Rossi held up his hand to silence the rambling geek. "Let's just say, it's a lot. Do you think that none of those agents aren't doing the horizontal dance with each other?"_

 _"I... I don't know..."_

 _"Trust me, they are. And they do fine most of the time, because they follow a few basic rules."_

 _"Oh. Rules, sir?"_

 _"Yes, no PDAs on the job, when you work together, the job comes first, nd for God's sake, no drama. Do not bring that crap into the building or the field."_

 _"Ok."_

 _"I have a question." Rossi sat up straight in his chair and folded his hands on top of the desk._

 _"Ok." Kevin was all ready to declare his intentions toward his new girlfriend._

 _"Would you take a bullet for her?"_

 _"Excuse me?" Kevin looked at the older man like he had just sprouted antlers. He was definitely not expecting that question._

 _"That woman is the reason why you're here and why you aren't a statistic on workplace shootings from an angel of death's endgame."_

 _"Sorry?"_

 _"He would've gotten Agent Fuchs first. As the next closest person, you would've been the next to go. He would've gotten both shots out before ours." It was a half-truth. Fuchs would have gotten the first shot, but he and Hotch would've been able to neutralize the disgraced cop before he was able to shoot again. Aside from the FBI's snipers, Hotch was the best shot in the FBI, and Rossi himself may have been retired for a decade, but he hunted regularly and would go to the shooting range at least twice a week, even when on his book tours, and his years of working in the bureau convinced him to never leave his house unarmed. And it all paid off: when he took his firearms test to re-qualify as a field agent, his marks were even better then the had been ten years prior._

 _"Agent Rossi, I...'_

 _"I think I can speak for the rest of the BAU when I say we would all take a bullet for her. Would you?"_

 _"Rossi..."_

 _"Would you take a bullet for Penelope Garcia?"_

 _"I... I... don't know," Kevin stuttered._

 _Rossi nodded slowly. "I see. I know you haven't known Penelope that long. I haven't either. But I would still take a bullet for her. And I know you're not a field agent, Kevin. But you want her to be your girlfriend, so I suggest you think long and hard about your answer."_

 _He stood up and took his gun from its holster and placed it on the desk between them. He had developed a newfound respect toward the bubbly technical analyst over the last twenty-four hours. After all, if she hadn't have gone against his wishes and confided in the Galen case with the others, that case would still be unsolved. He also admired the way she cared for victims' families, even though she had no family of her own. He felt an odd paternal affection when it came to her and he liked the feeling. "Penelope seems to be happy with you, and that's a good thing. I said there are unwritten rules that bureau employees go by in their relationships. I'm going to add a personal rule into the mix: Do not hurt her._ Ever. _Are we clear?"_

 _Kevin nodded. "Crystal, sir."_

 _"Good, I think we are done with our man to man talk now."_

 _Kevin nodded again and bolted out of the office._

"Let me explain something to you, Lynch. When we had our original discussion, I made it clear that I cared for Penelope, even though I didn't know her that well. When she was shot, I treated it like any other case. I saw what it did to Prentiss and Reid and JJ, and especially Hotch and Morgan. They all rallied behind their friend, putting their professional reputations and careers on the line, going against IA orders and risking termination from the FBI. Hotch wanted to kill Jason Battle right there in the bullpen and who knows what would've happened if Morgan had been there instead of across town. Now, Penelope is like a daughter to me. It's been over four and a half years and I can easily see how the rest of the team felt back them. It infuriates me to think of her on the operating table while the surgeons removed the bullet and fixed the damage it caused. I have the imprint of her lying in that hospital bed, pale and in pain, and scared and hurt in my brain forever. I believe I am where my teammates were back then: wishing it was me who took that hit and wanting to take that pain for her. Mostly, I'm still pissed that that bastard hurt her by tricking her into letting her guard down."

"Now here we are. I didn't say anything when you and Penelope broke up. I did casually offer to... make you pay. I love and respect her and as much as I wanted to destroy you, I didn't. She said it wasn't worth it, which made me stop and think, _'does she mean the relationship wasn't worth it? How did he really treat her?'"_

"I loved Penelope!" Kevin all but shouted.

Rossi nodded. "She loved you, too." He pulled a revolver out of his ankle holster and opened it. He pulled five bullets out of his pocket and slowly placed them in the chamber. He then closed and spun it. "Penelope was shot with a revolver. It seems an appropriate tool for this, do you agree?"

"Agent Rossi!"

"Do you think I don't know how to kill someone and get away with it? Studying them, my years of interrogating, giving testimony, understanding the criminal mind..."

"What do you want from me?"

"It's simple. I'm going to ask you questions. For every answer I don't like, one bullet will go in." He opened the chamber and placed the round inside one of the compartments. "For every answer I like, one will stay in my pocket." He withdrew the bullets and placed them in his breast pocket.

"Do I get to ask any questions?"

"Nope." He took another sip of his beverage and set the glass back down. He gestured in front of him. "Sit down, Kevin," he ordered. Kevin looked and noticed for the first time that his computer chair had been moved and placed in front of the sofa, with the coffee table separating them. He stood there staring at it, frozen like a statue. "I said, sit down, Kevin!" Rossi barked, louder and harsher. The technical analyst squeaked in terror and stumbled into the chair. He loosened his tie as it suddenly started feeling uncomfortably constrictive.

"Now, my first question is, do you remember our first talk and the rules we went over?"

Kevin nodded eagerly. "Yeah! No PDAs, the job comes first on the clock, and no drama."

Rossi raised an eyebrow. "And..."

Kevin gulped. "And don't ever hurt her."

"And you did hurt her."

Kevin's eyes widened. "Yes, but all breakups hurt. I was hurt, too."

Rossi sighed dramatically and pulled a bullet from his pocket. He placed it into the chamber and closed It before spinning it. Although he considered the honesty in Kevin's statement, the fact that the geek's cluelessness pissed him off.

Now, my next question: why did the women I consider a daughter spend last night in my nicest guest room after crying herself to sleep?"

Kevin's eyes went wide. "I have no idea, sir."

"Hmm..." Rossi pulled another bullet out and placed it into the gun and went to close it.

"Wait! What I meant was, Penelope is her own woman and is very independent. I didn't know her every move when we were together and I definitely don't know them now," Kevin cried.

Rossi smiled inwardly as sweat started forming on the other man's brow but scowled externally. He re-opened the partially closed chamber and removed the round. "Be careful, Lynch," he warned. "That was a close one. But you're right. She is independent and it's not your place to know of her life anymore." He put the round back into his pocket but quickly withdrew it again.

"She was at my house because she was upset. I don't like her being upset and especially when it has nothing to do with our work." He watched as the metaphoric light bulb dinged on above Kevin's head. "Figure it out yet?"

"She was upset because I turned down her offer to get a drink to go out with someone else."

"Indeed, you did. Why would you do that, knowing how rough the case was for her? I know you've helped her with a few cases. But you have even less field experience then she does."

"Because it was my date's... Shannon's birthday. We had reservations and it didn't feel right to cancel on her birthday to get some drinks with my ex. I couldn't win either way. I chose Sh... the date because Pen didn't need me. She has Morgan and JJ and..."

"But she didn't ask _them._ She asked _you._ She felt like you were the only one who could actually relate to her at that time." He tapped the bullet against his thigh. "Still, I believe you. It would've been a dickmove to cancel a girl's birthday date at the last minute." He put the bullet back in his pocket.

"Great! Are we done now?" Kevin asked excitedly.

"We are most definitely not," Rossi replied. He grinned when he saw the geek deflate in disappointment "Since you brought up Shannon, let's talk about her. And the others."

"'Others?'" Lynch repeated stupidly.

"Oh, yes. Gina, Lisa, Mindy, Leslie, and Shannon, right? And they call Morgan the player around here." Rossi shook his head in mock disbelief.

"That's not..."

"Were you at any time in your relationship with Penelope Garcia, unfaithful to her?"

"What?" Kevin all but shouted as he stood up quickly. "No!" His chest heaved in anger. "I NEVER cheated on Penelope!"

Rossi looked up at the younger man stoically, although he was chuckling internally. The boy actually had some vertebra in some semblance of a spine after all. He was also telling the truth. A visceral reaction like that from a blunt, unexpected question is hard to fake and the older profiler could read the analyst like a child's book.

"Sit down." Rossi switched his tone. For the first time since their conversation had begun, he spoke to the other man in a calm, gentle voice. The effect worked because Kevin sat back down, albeit slowly, although he still looked angry. "I believe you, Kevin," he added, still using his soothing vice. Kevin immediately relaxed in his chair. He also noticed that Rossi hasn't even reached for his pocket all that time. "Still, that's five women in approximately six months. You're really plowing your way through the bureau, huh?" Kevin had the grace to look embarrassed and looked down at the floor. "Which begs the question, why are you suddenly calling every relief pitcher willing to play for your team?"

"Huh?" The geek looked up in total confusion as he failed to grasp Rossi's baseball analogy.

Rossy sighed dramatically. "Why are you dating all of these women all of the sudden?" he clarified, condescendingly slow.

"Oh, uh... well..." Kevin looked back down and muttered something incoherently.

"Speak up, boy!" Rossi barked. "The rug isn't asking you questions, _I_ am!"

Kevin looked up and his face was beet red. "It's because I don't know what I want." He still muttered, although Rossi could hear him this time.

"Clarify," Rossi ordered.

Kevin cleared his throat and pondered for a few seconds. "I don't know if I want someone else like Penelope or someone completely different from her. I keep changing my mind . The ones not like Penelope make me miss her even more and the ones that are kinda like her emphasized how unique she really is. And I mean unique in a good way, a very good way." he added.

"Even so, you brought another woman to JJ's wedding _at my house._ And it was the same woman who you brought with you to the nerd convention. The same convention that you knew Penelope was going to attend."

"H...h... how did you know about that?"

Rossi scoffed. "Don't insult my intelligence, Lynch," he snarled. He yanked a bullet out of his pocket. "Why would you do that to her?"

Kevin started to tremble, his eyes never leaving the chunk of metal in Rossi's hand. "I overheard Gina and Anderson talking about how he had to work and couldn't take her to the convention. I didn't want to go alone and I could tell she didn't, either, so I asked if she wanted to come with me. That was a week or so beforehand and we met over lunch to go over our cosplay costumes. We had fun and ended up having a dinner that week as well. It was nice. I took Gina to the wedding with me because I figured that after seeing us together at the convention, Pen would've brought someone, too. Or hooked up with Morgan or something. I just... when I was with Gina, for the first time in weeks I wasn't depressed and miserable, thinking about how pathetic I am. Come on, even my girlfriend of over four years wouldn't even _consider_ marrying me, even though I hadn't even broached the subject until she figured out my intentions. She broke my heart."

"And you broke _hers,_ by not accepting her anxieties. I don't know where her commitment issues come from, no one does, not even Morgan, and I seriously doubt you know either. You used her fear of commitment against her because you were too selfish to put her needs ahead of yours. Add to that humiliating her in front of the people she considers her family by bringing another woman to her best girlfriend's wedding barely two months after breaking up. A woman who happens to be a fellow co-worker and someone she has to see every day. Give me one good reason why I should load every one of these rounds right now."

Lynch trembled even harder. "Agent Rossi, please... Penelope wouldn't want this."

Rossi sighed. "You're right, she wouldn't, which is why I won't do it." He smirked when he saw the geek visibly relax, although he still looked terrified. "You know, it's funny," he added. "After she saw you and Gina together at the convention, she asked if I would be willing to help her plot revenge against you." His smile grew as Kevin visibly paled.

"Sh... she told you that?"

Rossi nodded in glee. "Yes, she did." His smile turned into another scowl. "I said no because as much as I wanted to help her, I knew she was speaking in anger and that is not the Penelope I know and love. But I was also pleased. It proved she was finally getting over you. Instead of being sad to see you with another woman, she was mad. A healthy reaction."

Rossi pulled the remaining four bullets out of his pocket, one at a time, lining them up in a row on the coffee table. They gleamed against the dim glow of the streetlight. He spun the chamber again. "I'm going to ask you one more question, and it is the same question I asked you four years ago in my office: will you take a bullet for Penelope?" He picked up the glass again and downed the rest of the liquid before setting it down roughly.

Kevin sighed. He had been expecting this question and straightened up his posture. "Pen... and I, we just wanted... want different things. _I_ wanted to marry her. _She_ didn't want to marry me. It wasn't fair to either of us to keep the relationship going when we saw two different versions of our future together. But I don't care about that. I love her and I probably always will. So yes, I would and will take a bullet for her."

Rossi tapped the barrel of the gun against his thigh and looked thoughtful. He had never seen the geek look so determined and serious... and grown-up. "That's what I was waiting to hear." He stood up and opened the chamber, then leaned over and set the small gun in Kevin's hand.

Kevin looked down at the gun and exposed chamber. "Agent Rossi, this isn't loaded!"

Rossi grinned as he reached into his pocket and pulled out the fifth bullet. He then scooped up the other four and returned them to his pocket, then stood up. He took back the gun from Kevin and replaced it with the fifth bullet.

"Nope, and it never was. I knew that magic trick Reid taught me would come in handy one day." His grin quickly turned into a frightenly-penetrating stare of malice. "But if you ever, I mean _ever_ , make Penelope cry again, next time there won't be a magic trick."

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 **A/N: Yes, I'm still alive and have not abandoned y'all. Something terrible happened in my family and I couldn't bear to write fanfiction for a long time. It's easy to write about something based on TV but when it happens IRL, it is hard to separate the two. I have slowly been writing more of my three stories but I just can't go through with the heavy editing. I try to work on it but just can't get through it. I may explain more when (not _if,_ but when) I finally update my stories. To those I have told, thank for for being there for me. This past year has been crushing and your kind words helped more than you'll ever know. I am much better at writing out my thoughts and feelings but I can't even write down how much it meant/s to me. **

**Thank you,**

 **PitaCake**


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